I know so many people running in the Vancouver Rock 'n' Roll Marathon this weekend I feel like half of Kamloops is missing. I'm not going to pretend to understand why people sign up for these things? There must be a great feeling once you get past the pounding in your chest. The inability to breathe and general exhaustion that accompanies a run.
The one major advantage runners have, as far as I can tell, is the need to eat a bunch of carbs in preparation for a run. Now that's something I can get involved with. In fact, any time I am indulging in a particularly good sushi feed, or pasta dinner I always imagine fondly, that I am carb loading for a race I will never enter.
Running isn't my "thing". However, there is a small, really confused part of me, probably on a carb high, wanting, desperately to enjoy running. I've resisted it for so long and there are probably reasons less obvious than being slow, fat or unmotivated that I could try and uncover... but for the most part, I have just avoided it in favour of exercise in any other form. ANYTHING but running.
The other night I was out walking with my pup and I suddenly felt the inexplicable urge to run. Weird.
I set the goal of one block, knowing it was manageable and not that far. I say not that far, but without the desire to do it, it would feel like running a marathon without the carb loading, the medal, or any glory at the end.
Fast approaching 9pm, with limited visibility, I couldn't see the end of the block. To the casual observer I may have looked like a slow escaped prisoner trying to get to the nearest all you can eat buffet, but in my head I was a city fox. Stealthy. Graceful.
Not at all the large perplexed looking woman with the even more confused dog in tow, running in the dark for the hell of it.
I knew I could run further - so I walked down to the next street and as soon as my foot hit the curb I started running again. Another block.
I challenged myself and I did it. AND I didn't hate it AND I was able to control my breathing without feeling like dying. I wasn't self conscious about my body jiggling along. I was doing what I needed to do at that very moment. Even the ol' pup enjoyed it.
I wondered why so many of my friends liked running?
I can't speak for them, but when I am running down the block, and my throat is dry and I'm out of breath and I can hear my heart beating, I know I am alive.
I don't care if I look the part. or if I am quick. I don't care about anything when I am running, because I am so busy keeping one foot in front of the other being grateful, nothing else matters.
For my friends running tomorrow - whatever your reason for being there, you inspire me to keep trying! Your determination and passion for moving, gives me the itch to pick up the pace sometimes. I may never be a runner, and that's ok - but when I get the urge to run a few blocks, I'm going to be slow as treacle but I'll be smiling all the way to imaginary buffet.
Mother, creative strategist and health & happiness advocate. These are my personal ramblings..